Monday, October 5, 2009

talking in circles

did you know that i didnt talk to my father for years? dont? ..why didn't i tell you that?

it wasnt easy even if he is far. but i gave up and greeted him for fathers day this year. he cried.

did you ever had that time, that moment when you really want to say something but you are waiting for something. a sign? right time, place or even just a chance to actually say it.. (?)

in my fathers case i waited to be a parent. anytime is the perfect time to forgive but no - i made it hard for him and harder for my self. i will hold my phone for hours, staring at it but never dial a number. i would practice what to say and imagine what will he say back. i wrote letters but never end up sending them.

but that day when i finally had the courage to call and speak up, i didnt have to. i was instantly forgiven. i didnt have to apologize. my "hello" was enough.

but today was worst. about 2seconds before i say something to my husband - he fell asleep. and i was not going to ask for money or anything. what im about to say was good.

lesson learned : im telling you! dont wait 8 years and dont wait for a sign either. say it! specially when its i love you, sorry and thank you.


YULI said...

i dont know. its just so hard to talk and try to explain things to someone. often times, i'm already crying before i could start a conversation.

Anonymous said...

oo nga. life is short.

-ellesig- said...

yuli - im trying to avoid that. i dont like people seeing me cry. parang lalo akong kawawa.

rej - tama..!

Nobe said...

yep. yep. don't wait for another minute to say i love you or sorry to the one you love. it's just a waste of time.


cyndirellaz said...

mas nakakagaan talaga ng loob pag nasabi mo na ang gusto mo talagang sabihin, misan all you have to do is forget your pride and just open your heart.. ^__^

-ellesig- said...

nobe - uhm.. and i wasted 8 years.

cyndirella - pahirap sa kalooban. mabigat. mismo.

Sidney said...

It sounds easier than it is... sometimes very painful things are in the way... but you are right we should make peace.