Monday, October 26, 2009

you might just get it

saw a girl today, teenage, high school, in her uniform but with hair put up in a messy bun, like you do to your hair when you just woke up, complete make-up and stilettos. i dont know if shes going to school or to an early halloween party dressed as a kinky student.

generation what? i dont even want to get there. kids nowadays start early.

they want to smoke and drink,they fall in love at 12 and think no one understands them, they withdraw and think that their shit head friends are the only ones who love them. how emo!?

they dont get it. there is nothing fun in being an A-dult. well there are some but ask them, they'd prefer to be you! young and full of chances to make it right. no bills to pay, no boring ass job. bet they'd kill to be students again. well physically, the reasons are pretty obvious. when you become an A-dult. you're going to pay to get your boobs back up, wrinkles erased and beer belly tucked or just live with it. i told you its sad. kaya nga may mga isip-bata e, they never want to leave that stage - ; )

im 21 and in control of my life. i love the freedom! but i swear there are times that i just want to hand my life back to my mother.

Monday, October 19, 2009

Friday, October 16, 2009

what is wrong with you!?

naasar lang ako manood ng balita. lalo na during and after ondoy.

kanina pinapakita nila ang kalagayan ng mga tao sa mga evacuation centers. nakakalungkot. mga bata at matandang naghihintay na lang ng dadating na relief, natutulog sa sahig ng covered court na hindi na talaga mahulugan ng karayom. nakakaawa, sila pang mga walang ibang kamag-anak at kaibigan na matutuluyan pansamantala, sila pa na walang pera para rumenta ng kwarto o mag-hotel ang biniktima.

hindi sa pagmamaliki na mabait ako o maawain pero kahit no aglalaway na kong kumain ng cheeseburger, hindi ko magawa. naiisip ko ung ibang hindi kumakain, ung hindi naabot ng relief. ang hirap manood lang ng balita, panoorin yung mga nahihirapan na kahit alam mong nagbigay ka, hindi pa rin yun sapat.

may mga reporters nagbabalita na sa lugar na kinalalagyan nila, hindi daw naabot ng tulong. hello! ate! anong ginagawa mo dyan!? sana nung pagpunta mo dyan may dala ka man lang kahit 20 bags ng relief goods na ipinagmamalaki ng network ninyo?! instead of asking these poor people how they feel which is the stupedest question you can ask to a calamity stricken family who sleep on their roofs and havent eaten for more than a day.. why not ask them what they need or what you can do to help.

may mga evactuation centers na nag seset-up pa ng tents, para daw magkaroon ng privacy ung mga mag-asawa. like what the f***! sinong henyo ang nakaisip nun!? bakit hindi natin ilaan yang mga special tents na yan sa mga matatanda na hindi kayang tiisin ang sobrang init at ingay. sa mga sanggol at bata na kailangan makatulog ng maayos. sa mga may sakit. ang kapal din ng mga mukha ng mga magasawang magsesex pa sa mga evacuation tents. nasa mood pa sila?

nagbigay tayo ng tulong na nakalagay sa plastic bag - na pinaka mababaw na dahilan kung bakit nagbabaha. ironic.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Monday, October 5, 2009

talking in circles

did you know that i didnt talk to my father for years? ..you dont? ..why didn't i tell you that?

it wasnt easy even if he is far. but i gave up and greeted him for fathers day this year. he cried.

did you ever had that time, that moment when you really want to say something but you are waiting for something. a sign? right time, place or even just a chance to actually say it.. (?)

in my fathers case i waited to be a parent. anytime is the perfect time to forgive but no - i made it hard for him and harder for my self. i will hold my phone for hours, staring at it but never dial a number. i would practice what to say and imagine what will he say back. i wrote letters but never end up sending them.

but that day when i finally had the courage to call and speak up, i didnt have to. i was instantly forgiven. i didnt have to apologize. my "hello" was enough.

but today was worst. about 2seconds before i say something to my husband - he fell asleep. and i was not going to ask for money or anything. what im about to say was good.

lesson learned : im telling you! dont wait 8 years and dont wait for a sign either. say it! specially when its i love you, sorry and thank you.