concealer

i look like an unhappy person, honestly. though i know(i really do) that we should just enjoy life, even if it gets scary.

i also know this - that i have no reason to be sad. other parts of my life might suck but most of the time im lucky or just luckier. i have a very smart daughter and we are able to give her her needs. we have enough.

the real deal is - i am happy but im scared. sometimes, when everything is perfect i know something bad is bound to happen. when you have all that you possibly want, its terrifying. it feels like you're about to lose something.

its hurts to be negative about anything. i get scared before i appreciate things and be happy.

hi, am i you? are you still me?

do you ever feel like you are here but you are not really here? you stare at one thing so long that people think that you are deep into your thoughts but you're not.. you're just looking, not thinking.

b_l_a_n_k

not high. not sad. not happy. just there, existing.

we were on the beach last week. there i was, walking on fine sand, waves kiss my feet. i walked far from the crowded beach until the the noise faded. i enjoyed the walk with the ocean and the sun. i forgot how i loved the sand, sun and sea. it was pure bliss to be reunited with the things you thought you can live without.

its like when you quit smoking and then sadly went back to your vice. the first puff is like breaking free! you are happy though you know that cigarettes are disgusting.

sometimes all that matters is that you are happy. sometimes all you need is to do what you really like - even if it is bad. sometimes you just need to be you and forget about what everyone else might think.

its not bad to put yourself first - sometimes.

"mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain that they are their own" - Aristotle

thats kind of messed up! anyway, Happy Mothers Day to all the moms out there! it should be mothers day everyday!

my ending to rej's Last Man Standing

there he was, typing away
since all he got is a name,
while searching for her
he better pray

google, yahoo
twitter, multiply
nothing came up
but he just couldn't stop

what's the popular networking site?
everyone's on facebook, right?
"if i cant find her here -
then lets call it a night"

nervously he typed her name and clicked search
many girls are named the same, i suppose.
but one girl stood out, she has the smile that he remembers
the girl from the train is now the girl in this profile picture.

add as a friend, send her a message
he couldn't decide
but his heart skipped a beat
when her status said : Married.

seated outside a coffee shop at Tomas Morato. looking up, thinking i really miss my blog. i saw Vice Ganda that night.

before i sleep, i will pray.
with my eyes closed and with no words.
i'll have only my heart and his understanding.

lizards and airports

to me they are equally scary and infinitely irritating.

to think that i even wanted to be a pilot. i cant even pick a moment when i enjoy being at airports.

everything costs more, they're boring and yes - either way, you are leaving something or much worst, someone behind.

sure its sad whether its me or them who is leaving, but never in my life of traveling and having a traveling mom, lots of traveling relatives, traveling boyfriend and now - traveling husband, - i ever cried at airports.

i dont like it when people leave. instead of being sad im more annoyed or mad. hence, no tears, no smiles either.

i hate airports.

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